Tag: sexual assault mention

Hey! I wanted some advice. I’m 19, female, bisexual, virgin. I have never been more intimate than kissing with anyone, I have always been apprehensive, private and scared of vulnerability. This summer, my boss (older co-worker who is paid more than me) told me he was in love with me. I love him, but not in a romantic or sexual way. He is 20 years my senior. I went to college, where several very attractive people said they were interested in me, and would I like to do anything with them? (pt.1)

the-mad-march-hare42:

(Pt.2) This was all in the context of a party, which do not make me feel safe. These were from people who I found attractive, but who I didn’t intimately trust. I have never been sexually assaulted, but a lot of the context of any sexual intimacy (kissing etc.) was surrounded by sexual assault/violence. I have masturbated since I was about 14 and am attracted to both men and women (more often women), but when opportunities arise to become sexually intimate with people I am attracted to

(Pt. 3) I feel deeply panicked and always refuse. I have often wondered if I am asexual, but I wonder if I am also maybe just afraid of sexual intimacy because of its past context in my life (i.e. that my high school was NOT a safe, welcoming sexual space–violence, misogyny). Most of all, whenever people bring up whether I’m dating/have dated/have had sex, I feel lost and broken. Please, if you have any advice you could give me/encouragement, I would love to hear. Thank you.

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Okay… I can’t say I relate to your situation and I kind of had to gloss over the details because sexual topics do trigger my anxiety and OCD but I can’t leave this unanswered.

I personally don’t know what you could do but I really hope one of my followers might be able to give you some better advice than me

I’m a follower! Here comes my version of shitty advice.

So it sounds like you’re not interested in the guy from work at all, in which case you should politely turn him down. Really, given the huge age difference (he was at least your current age when you were born) and power imbalance in the workplace I wouldn’t recommend it anyway. If he starts giving you shit because of that, he’s almost definitely not allowed to, so you can report him.

The situation you’ve described with not wanting to sleep with people at parties even though you find them attractive sounds pretty normal to me. Not all allosexual (non-asexual) people are comfortable with the whole one-night-stand thing, and it can be very risky going off with a stranger. Did you experience the same fear of sexual intimacy while in a romantic relationship? Or have you not had a serious romantic relationship (possibly because of the fear)?

It’s possible you could be sex-repulsed, which isn’t a sexuality but a personal attitude to the idea of having sex. Sex-repulsion can be because of trauma, or anxiety, or just a natural part of how someone is that exists for no reason. I’m somewhat sex-repulsed myself, but as an asexual person I’ve never had any desire to change that.

The most commonly used definition of ‘asexual’ is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, but some people still use the asexual label even though they do feel some level of sexual attraction, because the label fits them for other reasons. I’m not too sure of the details on that one.

If sex-repulsion is getting in the way of your happiness, you might want to seek out some kind of therapy or counselling to deal with some of those negative feelings around sexual intimacy. It does sound like it’s impacting on your relationships so even though you haven’t experienced sexual assault, it might be worth getting some help to deal with those feelings.

Also, 19 is still young. (I’m 4 whole years older than you, wow… I feel old) It’s not that unusual to still be a virgin or not have had a serious relationship at that age, so don’t be afraid of ‘leaving it too late’. You have plenty of time to figure this out.

krxs100:

krxs100:

                       !!!!!!!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!!!!!!!!

The Tennessee Supreme Court ruled former sex slave Cyntoia Brown MUST serve 51 years in prison before she is eligible for parole.

According to them:

“In today’s unanimous decision, the Tennessee Supreme Court explained that, under state law, a life sentence is a determinate sentence of 60 years,” the court wrote. “However, the sixty-year sentence can be reduced by up to 15 percent, or 9 years, by earning various sentence credits (good behavior. & getting involved in prison based education programs while incarcerated) Therefore, the Supreme Court concluded that a defendant serving a life sentence for a first-degree murder committed on or after July 1, 1995, may be eligible for release after serving at least 51 years of the sentence.“

For those of you who haven’t yet caught up to this story:

Cyntoia Brown was a 16 yr old girl, who at the time of the incident was living in a room at a Nashville InTown Suites with Allen (the man who propositioned her for sex) because her pimp and boyfriend Garion McGlothen, nick-named “Kut Throat,” insisted that she needed to earn money.

Kut Throat abused her physically and sexually throughout the approximately three week period in which she lived with him.

After Allen took her to his house, he showed Cyntoia multiple guns, including shotguns and rifles. Later in bed, as she described in court, he grabbed her violently by the genitals, his demeanor became threatening and, fearing for her life, she took a gun out of her purse and shot him.

IF YOU WANT TO HELP:

You can sign this petition 

Call Governor Bill Haslam (615)-741-2001. she has a Clemency hearing May 23rd. DEMAND JUSTICE!!

#StayWoke

The parole board split on whether Cyntoia should be granted clemency. /BillHaslam can still grant her clemency before he leaves in January. You can reach him at: phone #: (615) 741-2001; e-mail: bill.haslam@tn.gov

theauspolchronicles:

The idea that men’s careers will be ruined by false assault allegations is absurd considering how hard it is for credible allegations to have an impact. John Lasseter still works for Disney. Trump is President. Brett Kavanaugh was appointed to the Supreme Court without a proper investigation. Louis C.K. returned to comedy. Woody Allen has 16 Oscar nominations for best Original Screenplay.

It took 60 women accusing Bill Cosby for him to get 3-10 years. He got away with it for decades. He’s 81 so his career came, was celebrated, and is gone already, so no one can bemoan “oh, but think of his career!” as a pseudo-defence as to why he should go unpunished. 60 women came forward and he was convicted of 3 counts of assault…

Even the youtubers we all denounced years ago for their assaults have come back, making music, selling a book that takes advantage of the controversy, and earn thousands on patreon so it seems perpetrators of sexual assault are resilient as ever.

This is why women don’t come forward. They receive death threats, character assassinations, are harassed constantly, and all for what? For their assaulters to continue unaffected. 

There are rare instances where something actually happens, like Harvey Weinstein, where Hollywood clawed over itself to go “oh no we don’t stand for that, we need to cut ourselves off from him immediately” to show how proactive they were and yet there are still countless actors out there we know have done horrible shit and continued to be celebrated. They just didn’t get enough news coverage while the #MeToo movement was fresh so there wasn’t any pressure to denounce them.

So ultimately it’s obvious that men can overwhelmingly get away with sexual assault. They do it constantly. The idea that innocent men will be ruined by sexual assault allegations is a fear tactic pushed by sexual predators trying to protect other sexual predators by enforcing the already common disbelief and hostility towards survivors of assault. It’s a bullshit. Don’t listen to it. Don’t be manipulated by it. Believe survivors.

rorykurago:

motherfickle:

rafawriter:

atomic-darth:

commandtower-solring-go:

pink-squirl:

Terry Crews came out and admitted he had been sexually assulted by someone in the film industry, and is now being blacklisted. I have been a fan of his since Idiocracy, and will continue to support all of his work.

So when you wonder why people don’t come forward with their assults, this is why.

Where are all the bitch men who ask about male sexual assault when the focus is on women but are dead silent when men are actually at the focus.  

It’s almost as if Men’s Rights Activists don’t really care about men’s rights. Hmmm….

🤔

Yep….

This misses the really powerful piece of the story: Terry Crews was the one who chose not to do the movie. One of the producers told him, essentially, that he could either do the movie and be drop the sexual assault charges, or continue with the trial and have “troubles”. Terry dropped out because he felt standing against abusers was more important than his film career.

It’s bullshit that he was threatened in the first place, of course, but his response was ballsy. I admire him for it.

Reblog to support Terry Crews and men like him.

Source: pink-squirl